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Cats have Conquered the World!
Okay, I know what youâre thinking⊠Well not really. I donât read minds, so fuck that shit and letâs talk about these cats!!!
Sometimes when I go traveling⊠believe it or not⊠CATS ARE THERE TOO!!
Cats are the true world conquerors. Studies have shown (and just trust me đ on this one) cats are way better at genocide than humans! So, should we really be letting them get by just cuz they cute when they end species left and right? Supposedly, and this is true, unless itâs not, they even have a sort of mind control thing! They got humans hooked, the utter scoundrels!!
Nevertheless, them cats are good at their jobs! Thus, as their noble servants and worshippers let’s now look upon examples of catnifigance that honor the true world hegemon!
Cats in their natural rudeness
WrowâŠ
The cat
(ps idk cat word spelling i ainât never studied that!)
Witness the day my Couchsurfing host and I sat at a cafe, enjoying delicious mint tea in peace. Suddenly, a creature approached. The feline hadnât the time to ask to join us. Instead, it merely seized its chance. We lower beings had but one choice. Accept our role as mere cushions for the noble beast to slumber upon. No complaints all was well. Except my host let his expression slip just for a moment, reversing his smile into a grimace. Luckily, the creature had eyes closed and did not have the displeasure to view this insolence. It is for this reason that I have removed my friend’s visage from the picture. You know how the cat mafia be! And just look at this oneâs fur! No question it got shooters on standby!
Cat tryna be sneaky
Oww owww wroww ma-moww owwwâŠ
I’d ventured into the Tunisian wilderness in the depths of the Sahara when I stumbled upon this traditional cliffside dwelling. I expected to learn about historic ways of life native to the region and adaptation to cave living. I stood shocked to find a furry creature perched in the corner, atop a throne of ⊠some kind of something. Who knows what horrors lay within!? One thing’s for sure, the cat didn’t allow me to venture closer to its abode. At that moment, I discovered what true fear felt like. I was persuaded to pay tribute for the sin of disgracing it with my presence. I went about my merry way thereafter, urine-soaked pants included.
Cats pretty much own humans
Wa-oww
Cat Satan
This cat actually had a name! Hold on, lemme check what it was… Lotus! But French! A Frenchman, traveling with it, shared my room. He’d already stayed at the hostel for three months with Lotus, a stray he rescued and planned to seatravel with. ‘Twas an endearing, if not peculiar, story. Lotus and I played together but eventually, curiosity took over. When newcomers entered the room, he seized the opportunity to make his escape. I was even accused of failing to keep watch. Mammal, please! I helped the Frenchman search around the hostel as he broke down in despair. In the end, Lotus was found in the bar next to the hostel, no doubt getting twisted off the juice. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a cat in a hostel and it was fur from purrfect!!
In Cat-clusion
I feel weird writing that last part normally compared to the other two but it was an interesting little story. Maybe, I’ll go into more detail about if I do another post on memorable hostels, wink wink nudge nudge. Anyways, who needs consistency anyways? If you answer you, I will hunt you down and force you to watch The Room! So yeah, all in all, them be the cat moments! Do you want more hardhitting investigative journalism like this on other animals such as birds, dogs, or even bugs? Leave me a comment! And without further ado, let us all pay homage to the Feline Empire, whose territory is depicted below. So long! And I cat wait to see you in the next one hehehehehehe…
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