Intro
Unquestionably, every country has its top-tier culinary delights. Some countries, like France, Italy, and Japan, are known worldwide for their classic dishes. That leaves other countries are less clouted but nonetheless home to many a mouthwatering morsel. I, as a result of being an avid travel boy, have taken it upon myself to investigate the lesser-appreciated gastronomical achievements the world over. I take on this burden for the benefit of mankind. Therefore, when I visited the Himalayan nation of Nepal, in the heart, or rather the diaphragm of Asia, I had no choice but to expose the very best food of Nepal.
So naturally, I went there, ate food, and left. Yup. That’s it. I didn’t really bother to look deeply into anything… so I guess I’m forfeiting my right to be a fake food critic…
The “Revelations”
Yet no! I was lucky! I had been turning the Buddhist prayer wheels clockwise and obviously gained good luck from it. For, you see, on my way out of Nepal, a bundle of parchment evidently flew through a narrow crack in the airplane window while I left Kathmandu, and landed square in my critically lauded lap. In it, I found a most intriguing transcript. This transcript pertained to a series of interviews, seemingly more akin to auditions, of many a dish to crown the best food of Nepal.
This may appear to be a bizarre turn of events, evidenced by my sudden change of register, but believe me! This is how I gained my knowledge on the culinary works of Nepal. Without ever gracing my pores with Nepal’s delicacies myself, I was forced to read about it instead and share the revelations with you.
According to the paper, some mysterious yet undeniably noble gent apparently interviewed the classic Nepalese dishes, (equipped with the ability to communicate with food of course), in a series of auditions to be hired as Food Ambassador of Nepal. I do not know what became of this man and his research but, as I have the transcript with me, and I like to assume all unknown people are martyrs for the cause, I will honor his memory with this post.
Thus, I shall recall this transcribed set of interviews and see if together, you, the readers, and I, can determine which food would have been hired as the Best Food of Nepal to the point of becoming its national Culinary Ambassador.
Now back to my normal voice…
Table of Contents
1. Momo
So, mr. Momo, is it? What makes you believe you have what it takes to be labeled as the Best Food of Nepal?
Mysterious Interview Guy
Well, firstly, I’m like the one of the most wellknown Nepalese dishes outside Nepal. Hellooo, who wouldn’t like little balls of goodness like me? You can eat me with any kind of sauce you want, spicy, sour, sweet. You can roast me, fry me and dump in meat or veggies too. I mean, come on, now. They just don’t come more versatile than ya girl.
Momo
Hmm, yes those are all good points indeed. However, I’ve heard from a lot of netizens that you can’t be considered among the best of Nepalese cuisine because you’re too small. And fair enough, you’re like a snack not a full meal. Can you really represent the country the way it needs to be repped?
Mysterious Interview Guy
Omg don’t get me started on all that. Weaker foods always need to find something about an icon to bring ’em down. Put it this way, my size is matched by my impact on your bank account. People don’t come to Nepal to spend a fortune on food. They want some nice hot dumplingy goodness before they go trekking and climb up to altitudes never touched before. And, I’m the one for that job. That’s why they choose me. I mean money talks hun. Why do you think I got so much clout?
Momo
Okay, okay. Fair enough. But wait, some other dishes doubt your dedication to the country. They claim that you’re akin to an eggs benedict arnold when it comes to your level of treason. Some say you’re from Tibet. Others says you’re just ripping off other famous dumpling dishes from around the world. What do you say to that? And be quick cuz time’s running out for you!
Mysterious Interview Guy
Like, again, who even says this stuff? Yeah maybe my roots go back to Tibet. Maybe there’s other dumplings but come on, Nepal’s history is rich and diverse. You can’t expect the dish representing our country to not have that foreign connection. I don’t see that as betraying Nepal. I see that as already having experience with this ambassador shit. Which, by the way, is another reason ya girl needs to get hired ASAP. For my last thing, I’mma just say that all y’all who are doubting me, go find a little shop in Kathmandu, Pokhara or wherever you’re staying. Try me and I guarantee you’ll see why they rate me so highly worldwide.
Momo
2. Thukpa
Okay, let’s see here. Next it says we got Thukpa. Thukpa? Man who even are you? Looks like you’re just another noodle dish. How can a noodle dish be the best food of Nepal? Everyone’s already got noodles certainly. Moreover, my sources tell me you’re also secretly of Tibetan origins. The same question I asked Momo applies here as well. How can you represent Nepal like that? What do you have to say for yourself?
Mysterious Interview Guy
Firstly, I’d like to thank you for the really mature and not-at-all brash manner in which you started this interview. Soooo much respect. Nevertheless, I shall address your main points of contestment with me. As you will or perhaps have gathered, many a Nepalese dish is similar to dishes in Tibet and India. However, I have variants that differ from those in Tibet. I am a noodle soup yes, eaten with thin noodles and a spoon for a hearty meal.
However, contrary to my Tibetan brethren, I chose to focus on vegetarian options within my broth most of the time. If not vegetarian, egg in place of protein. I am also much richer in spices and enjoy a lathering of coriander, garlic and spring onion. That is the Nepalese way, good sir. I’d advise you to remember that the next time you approach me with such accusations.
Thukpa
Hmm alright alright. You claim to bring facts huh? Interesting. Well, I see now okay, veggie options. That’s good. Given these points, you will go over well with the international crowd. A lot of people are getting off meat nowadays. But, I mean, beyond that, is there anything else you uniquely bring to the table that can change the image of Nepalese cuisine overseas?
Mysterious Interview Guy
Oh yes, put simply, I can help those unfamiliar with the geographic positioning of Nepal learn how its location on this Earth affects its cultural legacy gastronomically-speaking, if you will. You see, I reckon most would associate Nepal closer to India and South Asia, through its food and culture. However, the prevalence of an extremely popular noodle dish such as myself will reinforce the fact that Nepal has ties both to South and East Asia, and raise our cultural stock in the eyes of those more familiar with that part of the world.
Thukpa
So you’re saying you will help Nepal build relations with East and Southeast Asia? And the tastebuds of the world too? You aim to show people Nepalese cuisine is more diverse than they think? Alright, I can get behind that. But now tell me, and make it quick I gotta go, how will you give back to the community if you’re chosen to represent the nation as the undisputed best food of Nepal?
Mysterious Interview Guy
Nepal is still a poor developing nation, reeling to some degree still from the 2015 earthquake that shook the Kathmandu Valley. If I shall obtain the dubious distinction of the title Best Food of Nepal, I shall use my earnings for good. I shall donate to charities and nonprofits for the betterment of this great nation we call home. That, in my view is the dut of the Nepalese food ambassador and a testament to the spirit of thukpa!
Thukpa
3. Newari Khaja
Okay let’s move on the next candidate? So… we got, wait what’s your name? Newari Khaja? Samay Baji? What should I call you ma’am?
Mysterious Interview Guy
I go by many names. No single name is sufficient to pin me down completely. However, those two you mentioned suit me well. Call me what you like. Quite soon I will be known as the Best Food of Nepal. I began life in the Newar community of central Nepal, echoing the origins of my most famous name. They serve me on special ocassions, from family get togethers to religious holidays. Thus, I am known for my importance in Nepal.
That’s why despite coming from one singular ethnic group, I’ve grown in stature to become one of the premier dishes of the nation. Those who eat me can attest to the myriad of flavors I contain, so many that no one can realistically oppose my ascension to best food of Nepal status. I am aflush with content for the stomach, as only one of the greatest Nepalese dishes can truthfully hope to be.
Newari Khaja
Damn, well someone’s a talker! You seem pretty confident too. I like that, well, not really, but it does make my job easier! Now listen, it sounds like you already wanna tell us your whole life story, but we’re missing some pieces. You mention, what was it, a myriad of flavors? What exact flavors are we talking about? I think I speak for everyone when I see we’d all very much like to know.
Mysterious Interview Guy
Well you see, I can come in many forms, with various tools at my disposal. However, several ingredients have been known to consistently form my glorious foundation. I rest on a plate, a plate home to many smaller, yet equally delectable dishes. Flattened rice makes up the core of my essence. Emphasis on flattened, this is not the generic white rice my opposition offers. I’ve been known to feature chatamari, buffalo meat, spicy potato salad, green leaves, boiled black beans and a fried boiled egg.
As a result, with me, you experience tangy, spicy, soft, crunchy, chewy, tender and hard all at once. No other dish in Nepal can smack you with so much abundant resonating flavor like I can.
Newari Khaja
Damn. I see you make a strong case Mrs. Khaja. So, how better to end this case then to tell us why we should pick you above the others. I mean I know you got the flavors, but some would say you come off cocky or arrogant. What can you tell potential viewers about yourself to get them on your side, get their sympathy? Everyone loves a little bit of confidence but I read you’re supposed to give good luck not narcissist vibes.
Mysterious Interview Guy
Hmm, I did not wish to come across as egotistical but so be it. Regardless, I am the clear best food of Nepal. I cannot change that fact. But I can change your perception of me. Remember I began as an amalgamation of different snacks Newari farmers ate during the day for sustenance. My essence takes on the resolute will of the farmers that historically made the backbone of this nation. I did not come from wealth or glory. I am humbly a child of labor, just like any of the iconic Nepalese dishes. I hope you can appreciate that journey.
Newari Khaja
4. Chatpat & Pani Puri
Hey wait a sec! How the hell did you guys bust in here for the same interview? It says Chatpat at 11:30 and Pani Puri at 12:00! So why’re you both here? You can’t both be trying to be the best food of Nepal together can you? Explain yourselves!
Mysterious Interview Guy
Well, I mean, we’re just kinda homies that go way back. We do everything together! We’re kinda Indian-y, if that’s a word. We’re like snack food. You get us at a lot of similar little spots so we chitchat a while and you know, talk from stall to stall. We just figured, like, why audition together too bro?
After all, like Nepal’s about community, and like, sharing is caring. And we care. We’re little spicy crunchy guys that are here for a good time, not a long time, ya get us and a lot of people get us. They get us as good grub and get gone. They like us so we figured you would too bruh. For reals, no cap!
Chatpat & Pani Puri
Uh… okay. Well lemme get this straight. So Pani Puri, are you like one word or two? We’re writing this for ignorant Anglophone travelers and foodies so which is it? On second thought, who cares?
Anyways, I was told you’re like those little crunchy spheres filled with flavored water, chilis, potato, chutney, onions and uh something like chickpeas right? Come in sets of those little crunchy balls with the openings at the top to pour the water in right? And you, chatpat, what are you exactly? You evidently also got chilis and chickpeas right but you sit atop dried instant noodles and with loads of onions and cilantro. Other spices too? Like uh, throw in peas an lemon juice, served in little bowls at street stalls?
Mysterious Interview Guy
Exactly broseph robinette biden! Bro did his research af!
Like, we may sound mad weird right? I know, you’re thinking with the Chatpat and the dried instant noodles and thinking that’s sus bruh but nah, we go hard day in and day out. And for that reason, we really deserve to be food reps for Nepal because we represent the street food scene. We’re cheap as fizzity-uck, shallow as heck, and we be like totally representing the connections Nepalese cuisine has with Indian cuisine. Plus bro, we pack way more spices and more crunch than anyone else you’re interviewing today!
Chatpat & Pani Puri
Yeah to be honest things like instant noodles used in cuisine is underrated by a lot of our foreign viewers. You could be putting Nepalese food on the map while vouching for stuff like that too. I dig it.
But, hmm, you’ve got some tough competition, and I don’t really like how your voices are written and like, I can’t be bothered with too many more questions for you guys. So, let’s end this pretty much here. You got some last words to say to any potential viewers? If you lose this competition and never get to represent Nepal again, what do you want these fine people to remember you by?
Mysterious Interview Guy
Damn bro, whatever dish out there, if you make it to the promised land, if you climb that mountain of mealy goodness, just know this… We didn’t want you to succeed. We’re haters ’til the end. We will be praying for your downfall even more now. I mean, we just can’t see other dishes succeed even for the good of Nepal. Our egos comes before our nation 24/8. That’s it. Don’t care who takes offense to that. We stay spicy to the end! Chatpat and Panipuri out!
Chatpat & Pani Puri
5. Dal Bhat
Alright I was wondering when I’d get to you. You, Mr.Dal Bhat, you seem like the obvious answer when picking the food ambassador of Nepal. However, it wouldn’t be a good search of the best food of Nepal if I didn’t go through your competition as well. Some people call you Dal Bhat Takari, to shout out to the curry too. Nevertheless, you’re known by your taste more than your name. You’re eaten throughout Nepal and appear on many a menu. Can you tell me how you think you’ve achieved so much domestic success thus far?
Mysterious Interview Guy
If you ask me, I just tick all the boxes overall. That’s obviously why they love me. For example, run my name back cuz. Dal – that’s that lentil soup. Bhat – that’s that good good rice, mostly talking that classic white rice. You already mentioned the curry but I also got veggies, potatoes, a fried papad and some kind of meat; let’s shoutout chicken today. All on one plate man! Come on. What are talking about here? I’m a full meal. The hikers and trekkers eat me once and they’re good for the day. I got protein, carbs, veggies and spice. I put you to sleep with one plate, just like I do to the competition for this job.
Dal Bhat
Well, there’s certainly no doubt your clout is rising. The t-shirts with the words ‘Dal Bhat power, 24 hour’ are seen all over Nepal. Everyone there knows about you. But idk to be honest, internationally you may still be lagging behind Momo. Why do you think that is? If you’re such a complete dish, eaten throughout Nepal and representing a full meal, why is Momo getting more love overseas? You got any clues?
Mysterious Interview Guy
(Sigh) To be honest, I think Momo just generally sounds better. It’s easier to pronounce so westoids like you gravitate towards it more. But the subcontinent knows me. I’m bigger than Nepal. And I think that’s what’ll carry me internationally, the respect I get from India, Bangladesh and the gang. I’m not saying it’ll be an easy road to compete with the titans of world cuisine but if anyone’s gonna strap Nepal to their back and carry us to the promised land, it’s big Bhat. For some that’s a tall order. For me, it’s just a Dal order. So order some today!
Dal Bhat
A dal order? Really? Okay my respect for you has plummeted a bit. Can you plummet a bit? I think that doesn’t make sense, does it? And you called me a westoid too? Ah forget it, let’s keep with the interview. Gotta stay professional.
All things aside, I can’t deny you’ve made some valid points. To be the best food of Nepal, you need to tick the imaginary boxes I just made up and you do tick them all. You really are the most complete meal I’ve interviewed today. However, corny lines, in a dish that generally doesn’t use corn, that’s simply just not a solid strategy. I’ll have to think harder when I get home. In the meantime, as we close out this interview, what message would you send to the world if you get hired as Nepal’s Food Ambassador? What more do you want to tell them about Nepalese cuisine?
Mysterious Interview Guy
Alright so boom, Nepalese food isn’t the flashiest. Nor is it the craziest. Definitely not the showiest but that’s all fine. It may look simple but taste it, catch that deep flavor profile and you’ll see we don’t play. We’re straightforward enough so that your taste buds will trust us but we’re flavorful enough to thrash about said taste buds with a dozen different pockets of pungency. Nepalese food is varied and complex but always delicious. Even my competition for the job today. Haters say we’re bland. Some people claim it’s all just the same as Indian food. I’m like nah, we stand alone, we got a lot of good eats here. So come, try it, see what happens.
Dal Bhat
In Concluey
Surprisingly, that’s the extent of the transcript. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I let it go. What a find! How is this not already in the British Museum!
As I landed back in the United States, I tried to find who conducted these interviews, yet nothing ever materialized. It remains a mystery which dish was chosen as the Nepalese Food Ambassador, who got to carry that torch. I guess that leaves the question open, like most things, up to the imagination.
Nevertheless, I hope this mysterious competition brought you insight into Nepal’s traditional cuisine. I hope it persuaded you to at least try one of the dishes on here or the many this man never got around to interviewing. And don’t forget to stick around so you can learn even more. Trying to learn how to talk to food for instance? Emphatically learn how with more Globe Junkie articles (not really). Finally, go try some Nepalese cuisine, before it tries you!