The top on my bucket list of places in Uzbekistan to satiate my thirst has got to be Bukhara! One of Uzbekistan’s greatest Silk Road cities, Bukhara has a long and rich history of well riches and history! Home to around 140 UNESCO World Heritage Sites, it’s always had a special place among the elite city states of the region. In fact, Bukhara itself was the seat of different autonomous states like the Emirate of Bukhara and later the Bukharan People’s Soviet Republic for four years. Walking these ancient streets, I’d be sure to feel the blend of Persian, Turkic and Russian influence that makes Uzbekistan so special.

Now me personally, I am not very religious but Bukhara’s treatment as a holy city means it’s got tasty Islamic treats to fill up the hungriest belly. Me, I’m fiending to go pillar swinging at the Bolo Haouz Mosque or better yet I’m tryna ponder the existence of an afterlife at the city’s iconic Poi Kalyan Complex with its Tower of Death (the Kalyan Minaret). They said they used to throw criminals off it? So uh… if you’re not sure about your life but wanna say screw the rules, I’m just sayin…

Nevertheless, Bukhara is one of the most famous places in Uzbekistan and yet, unlike some of the other famous places in Uzbekistan, it’s got that slow, chill, café seating, Mulberry tree shaded, shashlik-gripping vibe we all wake up and demand from our Earthly plain. Speaking of shashlik, that’s a typical Uzbek kebab-like skewer dish I’m dying to try alongside some Plov! What’s Plov, you ask?…

What, you expect an answer!? Uzbeki-come on man! Gotta keep reading for that knowledge!

Sexy af Author’s Note

Hey so I just was looking into this dream places in Uzbekistan thing and discovered what Plov is! Harder than I thought broseph! Keep reading to find out what it is!

Unless I forget to add it

The next stop on the list of places in Uzbekistan I would commit excessive amounts of tax fraud to reach is also one of the most other-wall-dly places in Uzbekistan: Khiva! Get it? Cuz there’s clearly some curvacious walls in the pic above! And oh yeah, I flux with walls too! Anyone can get it!

Okay where were we?

Yeah so Khiva’s another one of the millennia-old Silk Road cities that Uzbekistan loves to tout! You’ll also notice a trend in the kinds of things a duckboi likes touted in his face… But keeping it real, Khiva’s Itchan Kala, or it’s old town, is the reason I was born. Ask my parents! My mom gave birth to me while reading Lonely Planet’s book on Central Asia at Sutter Health! (Get it for $34.99!) My first words were “Kunya Ark Citadel” and my parents have never been proud of me but that’s neither here nor there! You know what is there? Not cars! As if right? Old city, Silk Road vibes, who wants cars?

To be fair, that’s just in the old city that cars aren’t allowed. But for me, the world could have stopped in 1800 (the year I was born totally facts btw) and I would be pleased with it. Itchan Kala is history and architecture flexing I could lose myself like Eminem in. However, instead of eating fattening M & M’s, even Marshall would approve of me gorging down on some Lagman, traditional Uzbek and Uyghur fried noodles!

To top it off like tapenade, Khiva’s tiny which makes it incredibly walkable! So if you got feet as luscious as mine (and if you’re reading this far, you know you do) take a step back and hope that step magically transports you to this here unmissable gem of a city!

I’ll be waiting there 😉

This is undoubtedly the big guy. I’m talking a recurring feature as a City State in the Civilization video game series. That means it’s gotta be high on the list of places in Uzbekistan a seasoned Civ 6-on-settler-superman’s got to visit. I mean, this here is arguably the crown jewel of the Silk Road and my future Pinterest boards after I go. We’re talking 2500 years of history and the former capital of the Timurid Empire, word to Tamerlane, one of possible Goats of murder! Too soon? I just wanna make sure to get the point across how epic a visit to the Kand is. (I can call it that. I said so)

Registan alone is one of the top places in Uzbekistan for a dirty tourist for me. It’s the city’s legendary central square btw. If Uzbekistan as a whole needed a cover photo, it’d be this place. Not far off that is the Shah i Zinda, a street jam-packed with blueberry colored jokingly beautiful mausoleums with tilework so ornate I almost said ornatist and didn’t feel bad about it. If you really love dead people, Tamerlane (or Timur)’s tomb is here too. Time will time if that’s what will drag my attention the most.

So, naturally Samarkand is one of the best places in Uzbekistan because it simply exudes overwhelming beauty and grandeur. Some may not even be able to take it. I would try my luck. But enough of past things on a post about future travel! Samarkand is also a modern transport hub, connecting the myriad of tourists who come to mire at its wonder with the other centers of Uzbek swaggetry like Tashkent and Bukhara.

That being said, yeah this is lower on the list because it does naturally draw in the most tourist of Uzbekistan’s ancient cities and I am one of those travelers who clearly hates the world. So people from elsewhere = eww. Xenophobia for the win!

(For the record that was a joke, The Globe Junkie does not nor ever will endorse Xenophobia)

Speaking of which, I forgot now’s the time to discuss Plov. So it’s some Uzbek food. If you have had Afghan cuisine or Iranian cuisine it is somewhat similar to dishes from those cultures. Plov’s boasting a wok full of choice rice with oil, spices, carrots, onions and some kind of meat (usually chicken or lamb). Oily, filling, and made to feed the Mongol hordes (don’t check my sources on that one), Plov is a must eat in Uzbekistan. And what’s this, Samarkand claims to have the best of it!

Yep, for sure this has gotta be one of the places in Uzbekistan. But is it really up there with the best? For me yes, it’s one of the places in Uzbekistan I gotta see, now matter how weird it is.

The Aral Sea crosses the border between Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan but don’t attempt this border crossing brother or you could… idk end up like the Aral Sea itself. Yeah we all know the story right? There’s a reason many an inland sea or incompetent Soviet enthusiast refers to it as one of the world’s worst environmental disasters. See, the USSR enacted various irrigation projects in the region that diminished the size of the Aral Sea by 90% from what it used to be, leaving a naval museum’s worth of ships feet deep into the sand.

This place is a desert that used to be an ocean, just like uh, stuff I shouldn’t say on here. I’d plan to stop by the town of Moynaq in order to see the shipwreck graveyard. It was once a thriving port city, now it’s severely lacking on the thriving and port part but still. Still, it’s the window to what must seem like another world. A place where geography seems to have forgotten the assignment.

There’s a museum and such for the history buffs among us but for me, personally, there’s already a certain je ne sais quoi to empty destinations like this. So weird and yet there, visitable and visible. How could I avoid it when it’s just something impossible to ignore right? I’ve gotta see it to believe it but for now I already think it’s one the premier places in Uzbekistan I need to see.

The capital of Uzbekistan is often slept on as much as it is slept in when folks travel the nation and use it as a mere stopover. However, be not ignorant. Tashkent deserves its coveted spot among the swellest places in the Uzbekistan! Now, to be fair, Tashkent is much bigger, modern appearing and Soviety than the other cities mentioned on this list. Normally that would turn me off no light switch but it’s chalk full of fascinating attractions no magnet!

(Yeah that one was lame. Let’s get back to why Tashkent is one of my dream places in Uzbekistan)

See, ever since I was a wee tyke and Duckboi hadn’t cracked the eggshell, I envisioned myself perusing the grand halls of the huge and ornate domed market at Chorsu Bazaar. Looking for some camel heads to start the day off fresh. With breakfast secured, I imagine strolling down the dummy thick and stupidly leafy boulevards til I got to the OGs like the Khast Imam Complex, which reportedly houses the world’s oldest Quran.

The Tashkent Metro also would beckon the inner dictator of the proletariat in me, clearly echoing the Soviet stylized aesthetics the Moscow Metro in Russia is famous for. And while all the cities on this list have great food to spoil a starving broke boi such as myself, Tashkent, by virtue of caping off Uzbekistan’s biggest cities chart, has got worldwide delicacies to spring on tongue if tongue tripping, nah mean?

So yes, Tashkent isn’t necessarily one of the prettiest places in Uzbekistan. Nor is it necessarily one of the most unique places in Uzbekistan. But, it’s the capital and no cap, ya boi’s gotta thing for capitals and there’s no way see any one of them in lowercase to me.