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Istanbul Battle Royal – Intro
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Byzantium… Constantinople… Istanbul… Whatever you call it, this city needs no introductions. Istanbul is a true world city, with top-class everything and a history that makes scholars quiver in their boots! What’s not to love? It’s got attractions for days dating back to before even YOU were born! And you’re old as hell! Clearly! Like old old! YOU TOO OLD! Cut that shit out!
Istanbul’s packing so many attractions, mind you, that it’s currently the third most visited city in Europe! It’s visited every year by the equivalent of the whole world’s Jewish population apparently! And you know what that means? How do you find the best sights of Istanbul when you’re getting run over by ungrateful touristic hordes? Well, as you imagine, I’ve just manifested in the streets of Uskudar and pulled you up, ready to spoil you with the guide you’ve been waiting for!
Best sights of Istanbul
However, you read the title. This list of the best sights of Istanbul can’t just proceed like any other! Absolutely not! Istanbul is one of the most classic invasion targets in the conquering community. They’ve welcomed all challengers across history! So it only makes no sense to pit the best of the city against one another in the real rankings! So this list is going from worst to best of the best, counting down the top 6 as each spot tries to get its greasy fingers on the transcontinental crown!
Without further ado, let’s indulge the first competitor of this Battle Royale for the Istanbul Heavyweight Title!
Istanbul Archaeology Museums – #6
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This is the dark horse of the competition but if you ask me, it really shouldn’t be! Every great city has its museums. Beijing has its Tap Water Museum! And… yeah, enough said. That can’t be topped. But that’s not stopping Istanbul’s Archaeology Museum from topping this list! Gunning for the best sights of Istanbul, the Museum puts up a valiant effort! You could forget just how old the city is until you enter a place like this. With a focus on sculpture and pottery, you’re invited to delve deep into the Greek, Roman and Byzantine pasts before transitioning to the Islamization of Turkey and the rise of the Ottoman Empire.
Best sights of Istanbul
The word Turquoise itself comes from the French word for Turkish “turquois” (though the minerals bearing the color actually came from Iran) and this connection becomes abundantly clear the more you gaze upon the delicious examples of pottery on display in the museum. Split between two major halls with a big inner courtyard, it facilitate an easy journey for completionists. The Archaeology Museum isn’t gigantic either, making it relatively straightforward and thorough in its presentation. Additionally, it costs just 100 Lira to enter which is about $5.37.
All these strategic strengths were beneficial to the Istanbul Archaeology Museum’s offense. They put up a strong fight being able to attack from multiple angles. However, they lacked the flashiness to sway them over their competitors and without that extra driving force, were unable to advance in the Battle Royale
a sports commentator guy that totally does exist, trust me
Galata Tower – #5
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Galata Tower comes up next in our ranking! What brings it to the table of consideration for one of the best sights of Istanbul? Well, my sources managed to invade its privacy to secure a pre-match interview with it! Let’s see what Galata Tower had to say…
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Galata Tower
You heard it hear first! Galata Tower out here making bold claims! But it does to some extent back it up! I mean, it’s a big man in these streets! We can see it from across the Golden Horn when visiting other sights on this list. What’s more, it, wait for it, towers, over the skyline with its sharp shape and cylindrical wizardment. A journey up Galata Tower is equally enriching for the inverse view you receive of Istanbul. Something particularly enthralling at night!
Best sights of Istanbul
And don’t fear the journey up Galata Tower either. You’ll have to wait in line but the area at the foot of the marvel is filled with markets, stalls, and restaurants to make sure your fancy leaves with its tickled box checked. Going up the tower is easy too. You take turns from the line in elevator groups, with only about two floors remaining that need to be dealt with via stairs! So rest your thighs easy before a quick workout before a balcony bursting view of the city. It does come at a tad bit pricier than the Archaelogy Museum at 175 Lira or $9.39 but I believe this is undoubtedly worth it!
Galata Tower’s always found strength in its resolve and stamina! We saw that ring true today in this fight! But what Galata seemed to lack is the same relentless pursuit of greatness that brought past winners the prize of Istanbul Heavyweight glory! And, without that eternal chasing of perfection, other competitors were just better-prepared enough to edge it out!
This other guy also does sports commentary like this too
Suleymaniye Mosque – #4
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This right here is when we get into the heavy hitters of the best sights of Istanbul, otherwise known as the most viable contenders for the
Best sights of Istanbul
Suleymaniye is the second biggest mosque in Istanbul and the biggest of the OG classical 16th century lineup. I prefer it over the Blue Mosque simply cuz it does everything that mosque does but better. What are those things you ask? Well outstanding Turkish architecture, a truly grandiose scope, a lush complex and intricate calligraphy inside. You can also visit a smaller building behind the main mosque to see the tombs of famous Ottoman sultan Suleyman the Magnificent (from which the mosque gets its names) along with his daughter’s tomb and those of other later sultans.
The Suleymaniye Mosque is undoubtedly one of the best sights of Istanbul because of its incredible scale and opulence. But, beyond that, its location is excellent as well, situated atop a hill in the area of Eminonu, a good deals away from the touristic heart of the Sultanahmet Square. It feels more tucked away, less crowded, warm and pensive. It’s a place that reels you in before bonking you over the head with its imposing wonder. No real jokes to make about it, it’s essentially a world wonder that’s overshadowed by another world wonder.
Suleymaniye Mosque did everything right. It obviously did its research on its competition. You can tell it studied them well and crafted the perfect gameplan. It was the purest tactician in this battle but tactics is not always going to win the day. Skill shone through 100% in the meticulous offense the Suleymaniye Mosque produced but it unfortunately lacked the heart to keep its defense sturdy enough to withstand the advance of the competitors to come on this list.
Commentator Guy. He has binoculars looking at a helicopter as he calls this. that’s dedication
Dolmabahce Palace – #3
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A lot of the challengers for the throne of best sights of Istanbul have long storied careers to their name. They’ve been leaving people in shock and awe since the Ottoman Golden Age. But not Dolmabahce Palace! No! This serene spot breaks the mold! ‘Twas built during the Empire’s Sick Man period, when they wanted to be more like the fancy fangled Western Europeans. Thus, the creation of this opulent mansion on the water! And boy how worthwhile was that ass-kissing!?
It got Dolmabahce on the tourist map, implanted deep like a legend is supposed to be! When I went, I just barely made it through the long lines. If you’re not into boujee grandeur, this may not be the place for you. But if you wanna pretend you actually can afford the sweet life and that your true miserable existence is a lie, venture here for the role reversal of a lifetime. Dolmabahce’s splendor does speak for itself with immaculate halls and rooms featuring GOAT level curtains, chandeliers and rugs. You’ll feel as though you just sank in the pool of income inequality and washed up on the shores of turning a blind eye.
Best sights of Istanbul
Don’t sleep on Dolmabahce Palace’s position either. This is the best sights of Istanbul after all, emphasis on the the, no wait, I mean emphasis on the sight! Reach Dolmabahce as I did with a ferry from Uskudar. It’s cheap and quick but rewards takers with great optic of the city from the midst of the water. When I went though, the seagulls were performing some type of Blitzkrieg on the ferry so always watch out for that. Nevertheless, upon arrival to Dolmabahce, you’re stradling the waterfront again and you’re enjoying the regal splendor while flexing across the water and therefore literally across continents. What goes harder than that!? Leave your haters deader than the Byzantines!
Dolmabahce was definitely one of the underdogs to win this one. It’s not usually mentioned with the greats but it definitely showed why it deserves to be up there. No one could outcompete the unorthodox flashiness of its arsenal. Its array of attacks seemed to defy the traditional Turkish style and that benefitted Dolmabahce immeasurably. Unfortunately, when it came down to it, that lack of traditional combat experience mattered and was exploited by the other challengers, meaning Dolmabahce is going to come up short in this one!
This commentator lives by the water and talks into a megaphone across the water. Nobody can really hear him. He just waits for the water to respond but it never does. Sad.
Aya Sofya – #2
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You knew this was coming! It’s the John Cena of the city! When it comes to the best sights of Istanbul, no one is more of a franchise player than the Aya Sofya, otherwise known as the Hagia Sophia. Definitely the most decorated and acclaimed contender of the lot assembled, there’s little to say about old Sophie that hasn’t already been said.
It’s the most iconic image Istanbul offers. Probably all of Turkey too. And when you’re repping a wholeass bird species on your side, you know the opps are shook.
So, Sophie was born in 537 as a Greek Orthodox Church but has since undergone several changes from Mosque to Museum and now back to Mosque. In that time, the Minarets were added, the interior was refined and the square surrounding it was altered. However, despite all the changes happening around it, Sophie has remained the go-to for Istanbul tourism and it’s almost too obvious to mention why.
Best sights of Istanbul
The inside is rich in colorful mosaics, beautiful calligraphy, delectable arching columns and glowing lights hanging down likes temptive apples from the Garden of Eden. You get lost just wandering around and looking up, left at the mercy of the gravitase you’ve just encountered. It may be the most tourist infested part of Istanbul but you know parasites are people too so don’t hold that against the Aya Sofya. It’s got international clout for a reason after all.
With all that, it’s clear it would top this list… but wait, it hasn’t!?
The most decorated competitor in the battle royale; Aya Sofya! This was the clear favorite to win, having been on a run of dominance unmatched in famous city battle royale history! What holes can even be found in the Aya Sofya’s performance! It’s offense was on point, broad yet focused when it needed to be! It’s defense left it able to withstand the greatest flurries of its competitors and its flash allowed it to make the counterattacks necessary to maintain its spot. But, what it couldn’t account for was blatant chicanery!
This commentator is the type who yells extremely loudly and passionately to the point of losingg his voice at every big moment. It’s a wonder how he keeps his job.
Topkapi Palace – #1
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That’s right! Out of the corner, with the steel chair to the back of Aya Sofya, Topkapi Palace steals it! Upset of the century! Or is it?
The Hagia Sophia is pretty much the symbol of Istanbul but Topkapi Palace has never been a slouch in its own right. Originally completed in 1465 to serve as the residence of the Ottoman sultans, Topkapi remained the administrative heart of the city, and by extension an empire, for centuries. But, I bet you didn’t come hear for administrative hearts! So, let’s talk about what really matters!
Best sights of Istanbul
Topkapi Palace is the big homie! it’s just that guy! It looks amazing inside and out and sucks you in without appearing as grand as the Hagia Sophia. The spiky gates are definitely imposing but nothing implies the stores of subtle riches awaiting once you’re able to parouse the corners of Topkapi. Immaculate historical Turkish architecture? Check! Intricate tilework worth catching a case over? Check! A more pensive and contemplative atmosphere with a bomb view of the sea? Check!
Topkapi Palace Wins! Topkapi Palace wins! Yeah it may have snuck up on the Aya Sofya with a steal chair but the ref didn’t see it! And either way, Topkapi fought its heart out! It bled into this battle like no other, leaving it all on the mat! That heart powered those tactics! Those tactics created that luck! And that luck created the opportunity! Topkapi didn’t need to stoop to using the chair but the chair got it the win! And after that, does anything else matter? NO! Topkapi won because they were willing to take it anywhere for the dub! No shame in that!
This is the fusion of the souls of all the commentators. They are now one. They always were but recently they came back together, refused into the best city battle royale commentator since Dwylan.
Bonus Competitor: Bursa for a Day Trip!
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The best sights of Istanbul is the subject right? So what’s Bursa doing here? Well, Bursa’s a great spot for a day trip! It’s only about 3 hours away with a ferry-bus or ferry-taxi combo and it’s very worth it! And, it packs just enough punch to make a feasible challenge towards Istanbul’s Turkish dominance!
Coming from Istanbul, it feels like a totally different place. More down to earth and tranquil, Bursa can be colder but uses it to its advantage offering major winter sporting activities like skiing. The mountains near the city offer these opportunities and much more hiking variety for those so inclined. And, inside, the city is famous for its traditional Ottoman architecture and its Ulu Cami, or Great Mosque, which is a can’t-miss for history buffs and history pipsqueaks alike!
Best of Istanbul
Bursa has it all on offer! Cut through historic streets and alleys to find traditional Turkish baths or Hamams. Walk through the bazaar and into a Han or traditional caravansary where you can hassle over a bargain deal. Eat some Turkish food like uh Turkish food! And just enjoy a break away from the hustle and bustle of Istanbul! What are you waiting for!?
New Champion!! – Conclusion
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The end of this list is nigh. Yeah, so Topkapi Palace won the championship. They are your new Istanbul Champions or whatever I said earlier. It was Istanbul Heavyweight Champions. Truthfully though, all these sights are wonderful and there are many more I couldn’t or chose not to mention that are worth a visit. Really, Istanbul is a can’t-miss city, so you should go and find out what the best place is for yourself! Of course, if you answer differently from me, I’ll ban you from this blog faster than Dwylan! But, I trust you! You’re here after all! You have good taste!
Best of Istanbul
So like, share, and follow, and all that lamb kofta! And remember, Istanbul is an amazing destination! Ignore any foolishness in this piece. When it comes down to it, every sight demands respect and you won’t go wrong adding any of them to your itinerary! Just a word of caution, Turkey doesn’t always have the best English levels. But I mean just deal with it, don’t be weird! Bye bye!! Globe Junkie!
